I don’t know about you ladies, but I had my share of breakdowns while planning my wedding.  The stress of it all- the budget, the dress, the never-ending guest list- was more than my brain could process.  I called my boyfriend (I refused to use the word ‘fiancé’- I don’t know why) on more than one occasion and cried crocodile tears into the phone.  I begged him to reconsider having a destination wedding, but no, he wanted a traditional wedding in a church (which didn’t happen) with a Saturday evening reception (which also didn’t happen), bridesmaids, groomsmen, unity candle, the whole nine.

The problem was, he didn’t help me.  Hear that, ladies?  HE DIDN’T HELP ME.  He didn’t help me choose the venue. He didn’t help me choose the menu. He didn’t help me choose the photographer, videographer or the florist.  I did it all myself, and it’s not like I was a professional event planner.  Planning a wedding is a full-time job and I already had a full-time job.  One that paid.  So when I asked said boyfriend to accompany me to a meeting with a vendor he’d say, I’ll give you twenty bucks if I don’t have to go.  SOLD!

I know some of you are in the same boat, spending every Saturday meeting with wedding vendors who give you enough information to make your head explode, and your fiancé is not helping you paddle. And in this economy, your fiancé doesn’t have $20 to bribe you into letting him off the hook.  But I did learn that there is a bright side to doing it all yourself, and you control freaks probably already know this: you get to do it all yourself!  Every decision is yours.  You get to pick the colors without him saying, Pink? I don’t think that’s such a good idea.  You get to have salmon at your reception without him saying, But my cousin Lloyd doesn’t eat fish.  And you get tell the DJ that under no circumstances should he play “Y.M.C.A.”

One great thing that you ladies have that I didn’t have when I was planning my wedding is Stonebrook Manor.  You don’t have to spend all your spare time dragging your maid of honor from venue to venue, vendor to vendor, to get her opinion.  Stonebrook Manor’s all-inclusive packages are so comprehensive (the food, the cake, the DJ and more) that the only question you have to ask is, where do I sign?

So after all the breakdowns, all the tears, and all the head explosions, you get to have the wedding of YOUR dreams.

 Sorry Village People.

1.  I can live without caviar and jaw-dropping floral arrangements.

As you probably have seen on wedding TV shows, there is a lot of over the top wedding planning going on out there.  If you find yourself dreaming about ridiculous over the top wedding TV items, then it is time for a reality check! Ask yourself, what will the extremely high priced obsession bring to my wedding?  What will I have to skimp on to afford those items?  Don’t go out and blow your budget on a few items at the expense of your needed/required items!  People will notice, it’s not worth it!

2.  I won’t make my bridesmaids spend a fortune for a dress they hate.

Every bride’s maid knows that they are going to be required to wear and pay for (in most cases), a dress that is not of their choosing.  The least that you can do as their friend/family member is to pick a dress or dress color that they will be able to wear at other times and for other events.  Also, let their individual styles shine through with their own jewelry and hairstyles.

3.  I won’t invite my best friend’s ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.

When putting together your guest list, remember the people that are important to your life and bring meaning to you. This will help keep your costs down, as well as the tempers of those you may have otherwise offended.  With this being the most important day in your life this far, celebrate with those that will still be a part of your life years from now.

4.  I will not obsess over my registry.

Once you have been sucked into the world of fine china, stemware and exotic kitchen gadgets- it’s only natural that you will want to dive into that state even more with second and third guessing of your registry ideas.  Do not let yourself go there!  Set up your registry six months before your big day and then leave it alone.

5.  Loosen up about the rehearsal dinner.

As the bride, you have the right to micromanage every aspect of your wedding if you wish to do so.  But, at the rehearsal dinner, not so much.  If you are blessed enough to have the groom’s family or someone similar be in charge of the night-before celebrations, by all means let them.  If you offer your opinions only when asked or on a few very important issues it will go more smoothly. If your Mother-to-be sends out invitations that you do not like, or fills the centerpieces with flowers that are your least favorite, keep in mind that everyone in attendance will understand that the rehearsal is not a reflection of your style.

6.  Write Thanks-you notes as the gifts come in.

Yes, you are going to be very busy, but you can always find 10 minutes to get a few thank-you notes written. Send them out as the gifts come in. If you wait too long your list will grow to a frightening length and you will be too intimidated to even start. If you do not send out thank you notes the giver may wonder if you received their gift, or worse, think you didn’t like it.

7.  Do not stress about the bachelor party.

What happens if his party is out-of-control and you are never supposed to find out about it? The truth is that he is marrying you because he wants to be by your side, more than his drunken friends.

8.  I will not have unrealistic weight loss expectations.

Choose a dress that you will look good in at your current weight.  Trying to loose weight to feel good about yourself in the months before your wedding will only make you frustrated and unhappy with the way you look.  Remember that he is marrying you for who you are not what you look like.

9.  I will not let pessimistic people bring me down.

As you undoubtedly already know, there are negative people out there who enjoy spreading their negativity wherever they go.  Maybe they have had some unfortunate things happen in their lives, maybe they were actually dropped on their heads when they were young, it matters not.  What matters is that you don’t fall victim to their misery in your time of bliss.  Make a mental note to cross them off your list of pre-wedding conversation partners.  There are plenty of others in your life who are genuinely excited for you and eager to hear about your plans.

10. Make your wedding album within one year of the wedding.

When you come back from your honeymoon, putting together your wedding album most likely will not be the first thing you’ll want to do.  However, you do need to make it a priority.  There will be many beautiful photos and memories that you’ll want to write down before they are forgotten forever. Most likely so many that it will be hard to narrow them down to fit in one album.  And speaking of albums, they do not come cheap, so take your time in making your selection.  As many of your married friends will tell you, the years slip by quickly more often than not if you don’t finish your album by your first anniversary, it won’t be done by the time your 5^th rolls around. Bite the bullet, get it done quickly so you can enjoy it in the years to come.

What else would you add to the list?

• Better photo ops – better lighting and backgrounds.

• No need for costly decorations – Mother Nature does it all for you.

• Any color scheme will work. The colors are always bright and vibrant. They change with the seasons.

• An open atmosphere is more relaxed.

• Garden settings work well for formal or casual ceremonies.

• Garden weddings are more romantic!

• There’s just something special about being surrounded by flowers, butterflies and sunsets when you’re in love.

• Garden and/or outdoors weddings are more popular to attend. It’s a special treat for your guests.

• Wedding planning becomes more simple, there are less details to worry about.

• Let’s face it – where else can you kick off your shoes and feel the grass between your toes!