One of my dearest friends had her wedding reception at the OMNI Hotel in Miami, Florida.  She planned the event herself and her choices in dress, flowers, band, everything, were flawless.  She’s not a control freak, she just had little help with the planning because all her friends and family lived out of state.  When she felt overwhelmed with the planning, she would call me in a panic and practically have a nervous breakdown on the phone.  My advice to her was to make lists.  You can’t get everything done in a week.  Prioritize and make lists.   Schedule what needs to be done and when it needs to be done.  Kim, sweetie, I’d say, first thing’s first.  Right now, it doesn’t matter that Aunt Rita is allergic to carrot cake.  Let’s decide on cake flavors after you’ve made the guest list-waaay after.  Foooocus.  Fooocus.  Stay with me now.  Besides, Aunt Rita might not even be on the list when you get done with it.  In which case, bring on the carrot cake!

Even though I was 2000 miles away, as one of her bridesmaids, there was a list that I could make and take responsibility for-the wedding day emergency kit.  I hoped she would remember her dress, veil, shoes, undergarments, etc. without my assistance, but I wanted to relieve a little bit of stress by gathering up those little things that she and her bridesmaids just might need on her wedding day.  So I bought a little case in which to put the little treasures and I named it ‘Justin’, ‘Justin Case’.  I secretly called it Justin Timberlake Case, but I digress. 

On Kim’s wedding day, Justin was called upon on more than one occasion.  It was like he was my personal valet.  Justin, my earring just fell out.  Fetch me an earring back, please.  Or Justin, the bride snagged her panty hose.  Fetch me some clear fingernail polish, please.   J.T.C. proved to be very prepared, and very reliable. 

Here are some things to help you get started when creating your Justin Case:

Earring backs

Clear nail polish

Batteries  -  all sizes

Aspirin/Ibuprofen

Tape – Scotch/duct

Sewing kit

Scissors

Static spray

Panty hose

Safety pins – all sizes

Umbrella

Bobby pins

Bandaids

Nail polish (bride’s color especially)

Nail polish remover

Feminine products

Disposable Razors

Iron

Mints

Cash/quarters (vending machine, parking meters)

 One last thing, and I wouldn’t recommend mentioning that you included this or the bride might freak: smelling salts.  Enough said.

 I’m pleased to report that the bride and groom got hitched without a hitch, due, in part, to Justin.  I did, however, give too much credit to my dear friend, the bride.  While she did remember her dress, veil, and all the other essentials, she forgot to bring clothes to wear the day after the wedding.  So, post wedding day, not wanting to wear her now champagne soaked dress to the complimentary breakfast buffet provided by the OMNI, she donned the clothes her new husband wore to the church the day before – basketball shorts and a t-shirt that said, I’m with stupid.  Lovely, I know. 

 If only she had had a Justin.

1.  I can live without caviar and jaw-dropping floral arrangements.

As you probably have seen on wedding TV shows, there is a lot of over the top wedding planning going on out there.  If you find yourself dreaming about ridiculous over the top wedding TV items, then it is time for a reality check! Ask yourself, what will the extremely high priced obsession bring to my wedding?  What will I have to skimp on to afford those items?  Don’t go out and blow your budget on a few items at the expense of your needed/required items!  People will notice, it’s not worth it!

2.  I won’t make my bridesmaids spend a fortune for a dress they hate.

Every bride’s maid knows that they are going to be required to wear and pay for (in most cases), a dress that is not of their choosing.  The least that you can do as their friend/family member is to pick a dress or dress color that they will be able to wear at other times and for other events.  Also, let their individual styles shine through with their own jewelry and hairstyles.

3.  I won’t invite my best friend’s ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.

When putting together your guest list, remember the people that are important to your life and bring meaning to you. This will help keep your costs down, as well as the tempers of those you may have otherwise offended.  With this being the most important day in your life this far, celebrate with those that will still be a part of your life years from now.

4.  I will not obsess over my registry.

Once you have been sucked into the world of fine china, stemware and exotic kitchen gadgets- it’s only natural that you will want to dive into that state even more with second and third guessing of your registry ideas.  Do not let yourself go there!  Set up your registry six months before your big day and then leave it alone.

5.  Loosen up about the rehearsal dinner.

As the bride, you have the right to micromanage every aspect of your wedding if you wish to do so.  But, at the rehearsal dinner, not so much.  If you are blessed enough to have the groom’s family or someone similar be in charge of the night-before celebrations, by all means let them.  If you offer your opinions only when asked or on a few very important issues it will go more smoothly. If your Mother-to-be sends out invitations that you do not like, or fills the centerpieces with flowers that are your least favorite, keep in mind that everyone in attendance will understand that the rehearsal is not a reflection of your style.

6.  Write Thanks-you notes as the gifts come in.

Yes, you are going to be very busy, but you can always find 10 minutes to get a few thank-you notes written. Send them out as the gifts come in. If you wait too long your list will grow to a frightening length and you will be too intimidated to even start. If you do not send out thank you notes the giver may wonder if you received their gift, or worse, think you didn’t like it.

7.  Do not stress about the bachelor party.

What happens if his party is out-of-control and you are never supposed to find out about it? The truth is that he is marrying you because he wants to be by your side, more than his drunken friends.

8.  I will not have unrealistic weight loss expectations.

Choose a dress that you will look good in at your current weight.  Trying to loose weight to feel good about yourself in the months before your wedding will only make you frustrated and unhappy with the way you look.  Remember that he is marrying you for who you are not what you look like.

9.  I will not let pessimistic people bring me down.

As you undoubtedly already know, there are negative people out there who enjoy spreading their negativity wherever they go.  Maybe they have had some unfortunate things happen in their lives, maybe they were actually dropped on their heads when they were young, it matters not.  What matters is that you don’t fall victim to their misery in your time of bliss.  Make a mental note to cross them off your list of pre-wedding conversation partners.  There are plenty of others in your life who are genuinely excited for you and eager to hear about your plans.

10. Make your wedding album within one year of the wedding.

When you come back from your honeymoon, putting together your wedding album most likely will not be the first thing you’ll want to do.  However, you do need to make it a priority.  There will be many beautiful photos and memories that you’ll want to write down before they are forgotten forever. Most likely so many that it will be hard to narrow them down to fit in one album.  And speaking of albums, they do not come cheap, so take your time in making your selection.  As many of your married friends will tell you, the years slip by quickly more often than not if you don’t finish your album by your first anniversary, it won’t be done by the time your 5^th rolls around. Bite the bullet, get it done quickly so you can enjoy it in the years to come.

What else would you add to the list?